The season is halfway over, ladies. I am getting that feeling that washes over you on the last few days of a vacation; a combination of joy to be immersed in it, and a sense of dread that it will all be over soon.
And although it’s a little too early for awards season, I thought some Midseason Awards were in order, because what’s better than another trophy on the mantle? So don your sequins and heels, or better yet your face paint and faux leather as we go long with the top guys, plays and dirt from the 2013 game.
So let’s get rolling. I like to think our statue would be a tiny gold figurine of a man serving buffalo wings to his lady while she sits glued to the TV, a crying baby at her feet, piles of unwashed laundry and unanswered work files at her side. Or, maybe just a gold football…more cost effective to create.
Best Team –
The Denver Broncos are shaping up to be the highest scoring team in NFL history. The Chiefs have gone from worst to 8-0. And the Seahawks are the class of the NFC with their never-quit defense. But to me, the best team so far is the one who has administered a turnaround in a difficult division, winning with both offense and defense. Drew Brees and the Saints are tough, and they know how to win deep into the season. A healthy roster helps. Grab your gumbo and get ready for at least one New Orleans playoff this year.
Early MVP Talk –
Peyton Manning is the obvious choice. I don’t know how it couldn’t be him based on how he is playing. But, Detroit’s Calvin Johnson (Megatron, for those of you not versed in nicknames) and Kansas City’s Jamaal Charles are putting up crazy numbers and helping their teams win again and again. It’s Peyton’s to lose…but how lucky we are to watch this many dominant players in the league.
Who is in the running for rookie of the year?
Man, I wanted it to be Barkevious Mingo so badly. Just couldn’t love that name more. If you remember, Mingo Ate Your Baby was my top pick for fantasy name.
But I have to say, former Bama boy Eddie Lacy of Green Bay is carrying a heavy load while he reads comic books and watches basketball on the side. Geno Smith might be in consideration, but it’s a long season and his inconsistent play leaves a big question mark.
Best sideline rants and gaudy celebrations? Top of mind, of course, is last week’s Dez Bryant’s sideline rant to Tony Romo. Despite his insistence that “I’m the nicest guy off the field”, Dez is making a name for himself as a real crab, and even though some of his yelling is of the more positive sort, he is wrong place wrong time king. These wacky Dallas receivers! Always trying to follow in Michael Irvin and Terrell Owens’ footsteps. You Texans sure can breed crazy.
On the celebration front, the Detroit Lions are killing it, with the latest Joseph Fauria dance to N’Sync’s “Bye Bye Bye” (per a Jimmy Fallon challenge) tops for the year so far. We will fo sho do a celebration recap later in the year for those of you who just want the glory. I get it.
Defensive player of the year?
Those defensive boys are a freak of nature and I love it. Big giant loads who move like a stealth panther, defensive in lineman particular are fascinating, and if you’ve never seen a 300-pounder run like the wind, you will have your mind blown.
Richard Sherman of the Seahawks is a trash talking maniac, who dared to diss Tom Brady last year. But he went to Stanford, so he’s smart on and off the field, and tends to back up his words with amazing play.
Ndamukong Suh from Detroit is also a possibility, but he is a documented dirty player who stomps on other players for sport. So definitely not the sentimental choice.
Comeback player of the year?
As much as it pains me to say, because I think he’s a whiny baby with too many kids, Phillip Rivers is playing en fuego this year. His stats are through the roof, but in a tough division, he probably won’t do well enough to lead his team to the playoffs.
Coach most likely to be fired?
While the general consensus is that Andy Reid is the top coach this year by leading his team worst to ???, there are several coaches that will likely be fired by press time. First on the hot seat is Greg Schiano, the Tampa coach who should don a haz mat suit to weather all of the bad blood down there. Others? Gus Bradley from Jacksonville. They are terrible, but you can only do so much with a teeny ounce of talent. And could former Superbowl winners really be on the hot seat? The answer is yes – football is brutal. So hello, Mike Tomlin and Tom Coughlin. Start winning or start looking for a job.
And who is a douchey pretty boy this season?
There’s always only one answer to this question. Tom dressed as the cowardly lion for Halloween.
Yes, I get that he is married to Gisele. But still, the Patriots continue to peddle his wares as if our forefathers gave their lives so that future men could walk around on a 70 degree day in a knit cap. Have some self respect, people!
Hope you enjoyed with our mid-season assessment. If not, hope you’re happy just to be nominated, and of course, don’t hate the player. Actually, don’t hate the game either. How could you possibly?