“My team is out. Waah! I hate football! I won’t watch anymore!”
Sound familiar? All of us die-hard fans have been there. But I’m here to tell you, there’s light at the end of the tunnel. There is always a reason to keep watching, and keep the faith. If all else fails, consider that Eric Decker and his Broncos are still in the mix –
Everywhere you look this week, there’s a story that you don’t want to miss. The media is at a fevered pitch to make incendiary statements, and headlines that will cause a stir, such as (yes, these are real) –
Manning – A Legacy Under A Cloud
Sean Payton to Hot Blonde — I’ve Got a Bounty … ON THAT ASS!
New York Jets Star Masturbated In Target Parking Lot!
What what? Football is getting hotter than a Kardashian Kristmas!!
As we go into divisional championships on Sunday, here are some things you’ll want the skinny on before the big day –
Ready to cry real tears?
Not since watching The Notebook or reading A Separate Peace by John Knowles (best book ever written, BTW) have the tears flown so freely. Grab the Puffs Plus and fire up this commercial starting Derrick Coleman, the deaf fullback from the Seattle Seahawks.
Kinda puts it in perspective, huh?
The Chargers QB is a true spaz, and I for one am not sure he could have coped with the Super Bowl stress! And thank you sbnation.com for coining the term “Do the bolo” to accompany the dance!
Is the Kaepernick vs. Wilson ultimate good vs. evil battle?
The two quarterbacks from the NFC are both second-year men, young guns with a similar style. Yet fans are trying to make Kaepernick into the villain in this scenario. You be the judge.
Khakis, chewing gum, hoodies and heart – match the coach with their winning trait.
49ers coach Jim Harbaugh famously wears $8 Wal Mart khakis.
Seahawks coach Pete Carroll loves the spotlight, and chewing on gum throughout games. Chew on this – Pete’s nickname while coach at USC was “Big Balls Pete” due to his propensity for ballsy plays like going for it on fourth down.
Patriots coach Bill Belichick is known for his hoodie sweatshirts as well as his adversity for speaking to the media. He will go down in history as one of the best NFL coaches in history, and also one of the biggest dicks. True story.
Broncos coach John Fox had a heart procedure following a collapse in October, and missed several weeks of the season. He’s now back at full capacity, but I can tell you that “NFL head coach” is certainly not a job I would want with a heart issue.
The world’s ugliest beard is put to rest
I love me some Andrew Luck and fully believe he will be the best quarterback in the NFL in several years. The Colts second-year QB incredibly smart – an architecture major at Stanford, no less – with an incredible work ethic. However, he doesn’t have the supporting cast yet to make a serious run in the playoffs. Thus, the “rally beard” didn’t make sense, and for a guy like Luck, who grows some kind of funky neck beard (dubbed ‘neard’ by the fans), and the sooner it gets shaved, the better. So we can all rejoice at our baby faced boy coming home to mama.
And what of the epic match ups this weekend? Two veteran QBs among the best that have ever played, plus two young guns redefining the position. Storied franchises vs. upstarts trying to finally get their rings. Good vs. evil. Life vs. death. Am I overdramatizing? Of course not…
Patriots at Broncos
This is a sportswriter’s dream matchup. Tom Brady vs. Peyton Manning in a battle of the two greatest quarterbacks of our time. However, there’s a lot more to the story than that. Both teams have overcome the losses of key players, in the Broncos’ case the loss of their coach to heart surgery for several weeks, and have used unexpected means, such as their running game in the case of the Patriots and the defense shining when needed in the case of the Broncos. Still, there are so many reasons to hate the Patriots (mainly because they always seem to be good) and so many reasons (Eric Decker, Eric Decker, Eric Decker…um, I mean Peyton Manning) to love the Broncos. I’m thinking this will be a high-scoring, fun battle to watch but the Super Bowl is Peyton’s destiny after having an offensive season for the ages. Mention to your man that Peyton is sure to be a five-time MVP but it would be great to cap it all off with a second ring. Also wonder out loud if former Patriots star tight end Aaron Hernandez is allowed to watch the game from his home in prison on double murder charges. Seriously, I wonder this!
49ers at Seahawks
Wow…these teams really do hate each other. This game is going to be a total smackdown and it will be a joy to watch. Stories this week include the Seahawks refusing to sell tickets in California, the Niners trash talking the “She-Hawks” and their several suspensions for players taking banned substances…these teams play with passion and are ready for battle.
They’ve split the season games 1-1, and the Seahawks have a distinct advantage playing at their very loud house. But the Niners haven’t lost in two months, and momentum is everything in the playoffs. We may see an upset here.
Get excited – these four teams have battled hard and will play like maniacs. Fans will be all dressed up and rowdy. And Eric Decker will be flexing his biceps. The only thing better will be Super Bowl so get your game on.