I often miss the days of being a young child and just thinking a “do-over” could solve all your problems. Lost at handball? Do over! Draw outside the lines? Do over! Drunken hookup at the Sigma Chi house? Do ov-wait…that was college.
In any case, the NFL is having it’s fair share of do-overs this year, and they’re not all pretty. There are four do-overs in particular that have tongues wagging among the pundits, and they’re worth a glance if you want to drop some NFL knowledge this weekend.
After starting the season 3-3 and losing to two divisional opponents as well as the hapless Buccaneers, many had written off the Steelers and called for the ouster of offensive coordinator Todd Haley. However, after three convincing wins including two ultra-mega wins against tough opponents, the Steelers are once again Blue Collar America’s sweethearts, and Roethlisberger is being hailed as the next, well, old Roethlisberger. And rookie of the year candidate Martavis Bryant is looking like a true baller, so congrats to those of you who smartly picked him up for fantasy.
On the opposite end of the spectrum, we have the Dallas Cowboys, who began the season riding high, rattling off six wins against some quality opponents, including the Seahawks at home, which everyone knows is harder to do than getting Rhianna to cover her nips, for gosh sakes. However, fortunes turned when Colt McCoy – third string QB for the team-that-must-not-be-named (Rdskns) came to town and looked like Joe Theismann. Since then, the Cowboys have looked more like the boys of the last few years, with Dez Bryant whining and Romo rehabbing. However, DeMarco Murray sure can run, damn – Jason Witten seems to get hotter each year, and this weekend’s game against the Jaguars should cure what ails em.
San Diego Chargers
Speaking of dashed hopes, was it really only a few weeks ago when Chargers fans were actually foregoing a day at the beach to watch a football game, finally dreaming of a trip to the Super Bowl and proudly asking “Who is the best team in the NFL Siri?” Well, that was before three ugly losses. Now as usual Charger fans are crying “injuries”, but no injury can excuse last week’s game where the offense was shut out by the Miami Dolphins while the defense was lit up by a formerly mediocre Ryan Tannehill, he of the super hot wife. Chargers have looked utterly flat, but we know they are talented. Will they bounce back? Where is Keenan Allen’s rookie year receiving brilliance? Can D.J. Fluker shore up his pass protection? And how many more kids will Rivers pop out before he retires?
New England Patriots
The Sunday night blowout in Kansas City was one of the most glorious days of the season, and the Patriots sucked. Then they didn’t. Their comeback to the top of the AFC has been nothing short of miraculous. God, I hate the Patriots. As does most of America. We all hoped and prayed that this season would mark the end of the Brady/Belichik reign of terror. Enough already.
In Twitter Wars News
Eric Decker’s hot wife, Jessie James, is in a Twitter war with Jets fans. Seems young Eric asked the Twitter world what they love about the Jets in a cute, promotional type of way, not knowing that he was opening the floodgates to a 1-7 fan base that is seriously suffering. Some of the answers here –
Now Jessie’s a tough cookie and her husband is no slouch to look at, so she went all stand by your man and Tweeted out this –
But anyone worth their salt knows you don’t mess with Jets fans. They’re from New York and they’ve endured some rough years. And that’s just the Geno Smith era. Jessie duked it out with a few but in the end, sanity prevailed as Jets fans realized that it’s probably way worse actually being a Jet than just rooting for one.
On the Fantasy Front
Only a few short weeks until playoffs. That means we’ve gotta have more focus than the BCS Selection Committee at a Rick Perry rally. There are six teams on bye this week, so dig deep to fill those roster spots. Several key pickups this week could boost your mojo going into mid-season –
Mark Sanchez– with Nick Foles out at least a few weeks with a collarbone injury, it’s time for The Sanchize to put the chicken tenders aside and get it done as the Eagles starter. I believe in Mark…he’s played well under pressure before and seems to be less interested in dating starlets than actually playing well under pressure. Wishing him a successful comeback to make everyone forget the Butt Fumble.
Other hot finds?
Owen Daniels, Ravens Tight End- Playing well right now and the Ravens are due to rebound this week against the Titans.
Robert Woods, Bills Wide Receiver – Coming back from injury and due for some heavy targeting due to Sammy Watkins possibly being out.
The Royal Treatment
The NFL plans to play five games in London next year. This weekend, we will be treated to yet another game over the pond as the Dallas Cowboys take on the Kensington – I man – Jacksonville Jaguars. Funny thing is that the injured Tony Romo has to endure the long flight in first class. Aww, you’re saying. That Jerry Jones is more cuddly than a bunny, giving up his seat to his star. Not so fast…Jerry gave up his wife’s seat. I kid you not. Return to your regularly scheduled hatred now.
It’s only a matter of time before Prince Harry hooks up with a 49ers Cheerleader, prompting a rash of “Tight End” headlines in the London tabs and dreams of a royal wedding officiated by Roger Goodell.
So carry on, my cheeky monkeys. The action on the pitch this weekend will be glorious. And you never know which team will get a do-over next.