It’s a short week for most, and while nearly everyone dreams of turkey, tryptophan and tequila (just own up to that dysfunctional family!), it’s also the time that we give thanks to the best and brightest of the NFL. Or, in some cases, the biggest turkeys!
This year, I’m thankful for –
A Raiders Win –
It’s just gotten to the point where no one can root for this hapless team to go 0-16. Derek Carr is actually showing signs of being able to move this franchise ahead. Although it might not happen until Sebastian Janikowski (aka “Sea Bass” aka “worst nickname ever”) is about 80. Don’t worry, thought, I think he’s like 75 right now.
Insane Catches –
Odell Beckham Jr. made one of the most insane catches you’ll ever see in Sunday night’s loss against the Cowboys, celebrated with one of the best memes of the year.
This rookie is making a name for himself and his frosted hair tips make me want to be his best friend. Plus, his dad was Shaquille O’Neal’s roommate in college. He could be the most interesting man in the NFL right now.
Shout Outs to Babies –
T.Y. Hilton had a baby last week, and he did this when he scored a touchdown.
The Re**kins appear to be in turmoil right around Thanksgiving. Coach Gruden (the little one) has announced that he will start Colt McCoy in place of RGIII in this Sunday’s Colts match up. Wait..wha wha what?? This move seems laughable to me. McCoy won himself a game coming off the bench few weeks ago, sure, but RGIII is your franchise guy. Seems like a little coach-player tiff is rearing its ugly head and those never seem to end well. One thing’s for sure…nobody better even THINK of interviewing our boy Colt after the game!
This week’s turkey –
So Marshawn Lynch is kind of douche. I think this is common knowledge, isn’t it? Although I loved his cameo in The League where he went toe to toe with Andre and his #yeastmode branding, I really don’t’ see Marshawn as generally a nice guy. Russell Wilson, yes. Lynch, no. Mainly because whenever there is locker room noise, he seems to be there. Last week, he refused to talk to the media after the game, and was fined. This week, he channeled Bill Belichick and did this –
Yeah, I get all you people who say he shouldn’t have to talk to the press, blah blah blah. Guess what? The NFL is entertainment. Highly-paid entertainment, I might add. So show up for a few minutes after the game…you can spend the rest of your goddamn day eating Skittles for all I care. And stop acting like you have it so rough!
And There’s Thanksgiving Football
Relax. Take a breath. Back in the happy place with some of the best Thanksgiving games you could hope for!
Bears and Lions
Detroit has been hosting this game since the 1930s. The Bears are slowly climbing back from the depths, although it’s an uphill battle given their tough division. The 5-6 Bears are two games behind the Lions and three behind the seemingly-unstoppable Packers. So this divisional match up is a must-win, and the Lions are looking vulnerable after their poor showing in New England. And, if you’re looking for a coach to get you fired up, look no further than anyone but Jim Caldwell.
Eagles and Cowboys
Dez Bryant is still an arrogant jerk, which is really the main reason I am rooting against Dallas. Well, and the old standby Jerry Jones. Oh, and the fact that DeMarco Murray shredded me in fantasy last week.
This game will be key in deciding the NFC East title race, as you can assume the Rdsins and Giants are toast. I like the Eagles in this one. And I like Mark Sanchez. There, I said it. As long as he doesn’t bring back the headband hair.
Seahawks and 49ers
This is a grudge match from last January’s NFC title game, and the tension between Michael Crabtree and Richard Sherman is as thick as that nasty ass Chunky Soup you see in his ads. However, both of these teams have been subsequently humbled since then, and since they’re both looking up at the Cardinals in first place, look for a scrappy battle that sees the resurgence of the 49ers offense, with heavy reliance on tight end Vernon Davis.
Turkey Leg – what does it all mean?
So each year, they award a special prize that only the manliest of men can claim. The Turkey Leg Award was started in 1989 by John Madden and continues to this day. My favorite was 1999, when journeyman QB Gus Frerotte won with the Lions. This year, NBC holds the award, so look for a Seahawks or 49ers player to chow down and the inevitable “bird for dinner” jokes if the Niners win.
And this week in Fantasy –
In most leagues, there are two weeks left until playoffs, generally the top four teams of each league. Now’s the time to get your starters off their bye weeks as well as scrambling to replace the ever-growing IR list. My sources tell me that Kaepernick, Wilson and Cutler are not good bets to start on Thursday, while Romo and Stafford could have favorable match ups. Remember to set the lineups early this week – with six teams playing Thursday, it’s enough to send you into turmoil right before Black Friday.
And speaking of Black Friday, I hear NFL jerseys are half off, so maybe it’s time to jump on the Raiders bandwagon?