What the Hail just happened? It has taken me nearly two weeks to get over the heartbreak of the Super Bowl. And I am not even a Seahawks fan.
Football is dead to me, largely because the Patriots won the Super Bowl. Yes, I take this football thing way too seriously.
But it’s more than that. It’s a whole “karma” thing to me when the good guys don’t win. I felt it last year when I watched Jameis Winston win first the Heisman and then the National Championship with Florida State, immediately after being mysteriously cleared on rape charges, right after “new” witnesses who happened to be his teammates came forward.
Now, you see a team that has racked up the championships under shady circumstances, whose coach continuously shows poor sportsmanship and a “win at any cost” mentality, and that is under investigation for not their first recorded incident of cheating, take home the Super Bowl once again. Where is the justice? What is going on with this world?
Well, luckily football is not always a metaphor for life, and the good guys, mostly, do eventually prevail.
As we say goodbye to the season, I’ve taken the time to compile some frequently asked questions related to the Super Bowl and off season, in a section I thoughtfully call –
What the Hail, Mary?
I’m a Seattle fan. Will the loss get easier with time?
Let’s put it this way. I was in Nordstrom this week and walked right by Drew Brees. He lives nearby and was shopping for a highly stylish array of men’s wear. I recognized him right away and double checked the face mole just to be sure. As we passed each other, we each said the requisite “hi” that you would say to a stranger on the street. Then, I was overwhelmed by the desire to circle back and scream “An onside kick on the second half kickoff? Really? I hate your flipping Saints! Who dat, indeed!”
Now, mind you, I actually like Drew Brees, but can’t seem to get over my Colts losing that 2009 Super Bowl. It still hurts. So…I don’t have a lot of good advice for you. It sucks losing and it sucks worse losing like you did and it sucks most that you lost to the Patriots.
Does loving Gronk mean you’re a racist?
From playing with puppies on the Today Show, to chugging beer in a Minion hat in the Patriots victory parade, Rob Gronkowski certainly is the man of the hour. But a certain commentator raised an interesting question – would Gronk still be as beloved if he was black?
I’m not one for social commentary on my blog, but I found this take fascinating. Think about the T.O.s, the Randy Mosses and the Deion Sanders’ of the world and how people would react if they said they were “throwin haymakers” at the end-of-Super Bowl melee. Posing with porn stars. Trash talking with a loveable dolty attitude. Words like “ghetto”, “low class” and “uneducated” would most certainly be bandied about. But Gronk is the new king of AM television, the internet, and certainly a SNL hosting stint is in the future. Some say winning is the best deodorant, but to me, this definitely points out the double standard that race has in our society. It’s a lot easier for a white guy to get away with these kind of hijinks; think of Gronk mocking a hot Spanish reporter next time you are so quick to judge an African American athlete’s actions.
Does Seattle’s graciousness in loss change your opinion of them?
Those of you who know me know I tend to be somewhat set in my ways, and with football, it’s even worse. However, I have to say, watching Seattle handle such a hard, hard defeat with class has been eye opening to me.
Now, I don’t justify Pete Carroll letting his gang run wild with their trash talking…and I generally think if you live by the smack talk, you die by the smack talk. Meaning, for those of you not familiar with slang, if you talk down your opponent, their victory is even more sweet. However, over the past fortnight, famed gabbers like Richard Sherman were most certainly humbled, and took it like men. Nice job, Seattle. And we all know that Patriots are a bunch of pretty boys who cheated to get there anyway. So there.
I’m a chick with little actual interest in football. What off season stuff would I care about?
If you’ve never tuned in to the NFL Combine, which starts Feb. 20, now’s the time to start. Critics say it’s demeaning, a meat market, a cattle call of young muscular men competing to please judges with impossible standards. I say, awesome! This is sick revenge for years of beauty pageants, but instead of a kiss from Donald Trump and a year of appearances, the guys get a multi-million dollar contract and a reality star baby mama. So watch away, enjoy the eye candy and just think, in Fall, you can watch that tight caboose in football pants each and every week.
I’m a chick who actually loves football, like you. What, pray tell, will you be doing in the off season to fill your time?
Well, besides finally spending time with my adorable children and attentive-yet-football-neophyte-husband, I will spend the next few months thinking ahead to Fall, and boning up on my gridiron knowledge in a few ways –
Watching The League and falling more deeply in love with Taco than ever before.
Reading Tim Tebow’s autobiography and praying to my lord and savior Jesus Christ that Peyton will be back next year.
Visiting the finest Spa in the area for a day of pampering courtesy of my Fantasy Football winnings.
Enjoying Coby Fleener’s thoughtful blog – a Stanford grad who can write and has poignant lessons about success on and off the field? And dresses like a boss? Yes please!
Spend time hanging out with all of my news anchor BFFs.
Go back to Nordstrom and look for Drew Brees. I at least need to tell him congrats for breaking my heart in two.
Thank you, dear readers, for your love and support this off season. See you in August!