We are only days away from the greatest day of the year. Who needs the Syrians when we can celebrate the original refugees who came to town with a sneaky plan to wipe out everyone and everything around them?
Tonight, as I sit in the depths of crankiness, tangled in a Twitter war with an insufferable Patriots fan (yes, I was just told ByeFelicia in a hashtag!!), I can still manage to crack a smile about all of the goodness to come on Thursday.
If you’re not planning a full day of eating and getting your football on, you need to rethink your priorities in life. It’s time to snuggle up to your Aunt Pat as she tells you about the war on Christmas, and Gramps when he explains how Trump sure has a plan for building a great big wall to keep the Muslims out. You have your own great big wall, and it’s called football, drinks and food.
First, let’s look at the match ups. This can be very helpful in planning your extremely minimal, halfhearted offers to help with the meal prep, as well as bathroom breaks.
Eagles at Lions –
This could be a serious yawner with two teams not really in contention for much. The Lions play each year on Thanksgiving, and generally they’re not in contention for much. However, it will be fun to see DeMarco Murray running wild against the Lions’ offense, and Lions QB Matt Stafford looks likely to throw some interceptions against the Eagles secondary. Lucky, he is thankful for a wife with giant knockers to comfort him at home.
Recommendation – Use this time to take a brisk walk and take care of your chopping/dicing duties in the kitchen.
Panthers at Cowboys –
Are you like me? Are you tired of seeing and hearing about Cam Newton’s antics week in and week out? Love him or hate him, it’s enough already. However, I don’t think it ends here. With Romo back and the Cowboys back in contention for the NFC East, they will be playing inspired football, but the Panthers defense is the reason they are 10-0 and are especially strong against the run game. If Romo can get it going to Dez, though, it could get interesting.
Recommendations – Stay glued to this mid-day game, which could be close, but feign interest in taste testing the perfect gravy. Also, this may be a good time to phone a friend to run over some Costco pies, as you won’t have time to whip anything up from scratch.
Bears at Packers –
Make everyone ooh and ah when you say “This is the oldest rivalry in the NFL”. The Packers are heavily favored, but anything goes in divisional games. The running backs will be the ones to watch, with Eddie Lacy starting to look more consistent, and Matt Forte coming back from injury. Chicago has a strong pass defense, but Aaron Rodgers and Co. at home should never be underestimated.
Recommendation – Whiz through dinner as quickly as possible. Be personable, engage in at least one political argument, but literally eat as fast as you can. Then relax and enjoy this one. You’ll be putting together your first turkey sando by the fourth quarter.
Word to the wise – do not bring this to my Thanksgiving party or you will be officially uninvited.
Instead, consider the PIECAKEN –
Say what? Yes, the beautiful younger sister of the Turducken has been born, and it’s changing everything I thought I knew about dessert.
You can click here to find out how to make this life changer.
And, of course, you can’t watch football without nachos and these turkey nachos are just the ticket.
Although you might want to save this one for college football watching and save Thurs. for the real stuff.
At the end of the day, as you snuggle into bed in your tryptophan coma, surrounded by sale ads, dreaming of Black Friday shopping, give thanks for football and this amazing holiday we call Thanksgiving!