The holidays are almost over, but we can always look to the NFL as the gift that keeps on giving. Just lately, we saw the complete meltdown of one of the league’s stars (hint: it’s not Dez Bryant), the coining of a new catch phrase, and a potential changing of the guard in a few different divisions.
There have also been the makings of a holiday celebration that would make Dickens proud – adorable children, terrible bosses, and the ghosts of playoffs past.
Let’s unwrap all of the holiday gifts from our NFL Santa and see what kind of crazy is stuffed into our stocking.
OBJ goes CRAY
I’m a giant fan of Odell Beckham Junior, so it was sad to see him with the Panthers’ Josh Norman last week, acting like a little child in a series of scuffles that were an embarrassment to both teams. OBJ has since been suspended for one game, but others on the Giants have come out saying that Norman was threatening various Giants team members and potentially making homophobic slurs. Wait, OBJ’s gay? Or was it just a bash on the good hair? In any case, you haven’t seen the end of this feud; it will surely be playing out on Twitter but not in the playoffs since the Giants couldn’t even win the hapless NFC East.
Charles Woodson’s kids complete me…
One of the all time greats announced he will retire at the end of this season. Woodson is an ageless wonder at 39, and after 18 years will hang up his cleats. And, wow, will he be missed. After the Christmas Eve game vs. San Diego, his last home game, he gave a heartfelt speech to the fans and a heartwarming post game interview. Oh, and if you want to die on the SPOT, check out his two adorable kids. I have been watching this video on a loop for a week. #obsessed
And you thought your boss was a dick…
As for the Chargers, sometimes careers don’t end so perfectly in a Spanos-run organization. Placed on IR for a groin injury, Eric Weddle will not even travel to Denver for what will likely be his last Charger game. Now we are hearing that the Chargers fined Weddle for staying on the field at halftime during that very game to watch his daughter perform, a disrespectful nail in the coffin for a Charger team known for casting out beloved players. I’m sure Drew Brees, LT, Darren Sproles, Shawne Merriman and a few others will enjoy having a drink at the new stadium in L.A. while rooting for the Raiders.
Divisional mash up madness
Just when you think you have football all figured out, the Texans leapfrog the Colts and their second third fourth string QB to take the embarrassingly horrible AFC South, as the racist-named-franchise-who-will-not-be-named takes the NFC East and the Chiefs, who started the season 1-5, actually have a chance (albeit small) to overtake the Broncos, who were 7-0, for the AFC West title. Everything is always topsy turvy in today’s NFL and that’s why we love it so!
Catch phrases are the new catch phrase
Kirk Cousins is seeing dollar signs with his now-infamous “You Like That” rant. Granted, he did the first t-shirts for charity but now with the trademark in play, you can bet Cousins is looking to cash in on his fantastical season. And Marshawn Lynch has filed for a trademark on his “I’m only here so I won’t get fined” Super Bowl line from last year. Seriously? How is that marketable? I’ll let Skittles figure that out.
Thanks for playin, Cam Newton
So the Panthers came just this close to a perfect season before getting majorly upset by the Falcons this week. Of course, they will still head to the playoffs, likely as the one seed. But…beware. The ghosts of playoffs past are rearing their ugly head. The Seahawks, last week’s beat down by the Rams aside, are looking strong. All that dabbing and gabbing equal overconfidence and only serve to make the haters hate more, Cam. Congratulations on your new baby boy; perhaps you will have more time with him when you get beat again by the Cardinals come January.
The New Years Eve Playoff is dumb
Yeah, you heard me. I like as many football games as possible, especially on weekdays. But having to watch college playoff games all day on New Year’s Eve and then actually try to stay up for NYE on the West Coast is pretty much futile. Give me a few beers and a Buffalo Chicken Ring and I’m out. So…I’ll be lucky to make it to East Coast NYE and will be starting the letter writing campaign to the Playoff Committee on Jan. 1. It’s important to have causes.
And the Super Bowl will feature…
My picks are the Cardinals and Chiefs. Two stellar defenses on hot streaks. Kangol Koach (I’m trademarking that) vs. Big Red. Two likeable but often overlooked teams whose divisions tend to be dominated by other teams (Seahawks, Broncos) that steal the headlines. Take it to the bank that these two will meet at Levi’s Stadium in February. Side note- if you see any form of the Patriots in that aforementioned Super Bowl, I am officially becoming an NBA fan instead. I mean it this time!!