The big game is upon us! The magical and joyful day known as Super Bowl Sunday, a holiday so uniquely American that 1.5 million Americans call in sick the next day.
There is also an urban legend that all of the toilets flush at once during halftime, but alas, that is just a myth.
However, a few Super Bowl facts will still blow your mind –
- Fifteen percent of people watch the game on their smart phones. Huh? You’ve heard of surround sound, right?
- Sunday will be the second highest day of food consumption, after Thanksgiving.
- June 17, 1994, was the highest grossing pizza delivery day in Domino’s Pizza History. What is the reason? Anyone remember a certain white Bronco chase? See how I tied that back in with football?
So as we lead up to this incredible game, bear with me. I’ve got LOTS on my mind!
First, the AFC Championship game.
This photo will forever be my screen saver.
Watching Tom Brady being smashed to the ground, over and over, was like a beautiful version of Groundhog Day. As I tell my kids, each time Brady is sacked a child in Africa gets a loaf of bread. Then, an anonymous Broncos player (who may or may not have been Von Miller) said they purposely tried to rub their nuts on Brady’s face after sacking him. And although I didn’t like Kubiak’s very conservative play calling at the end of the game (you NEVER try to run out clock against the Patriots!) the overall game showed me that the Broncos thrive as underdogs and that their defense can make anything happen.
NFC Championship game.
This was very surprising to me. Although I was rooting for the Cardinals, their complete domination by the Panthers was stunning to watch. It was 17-0 after the first quarter. Carson Palmer threw four interceptions as he watched his chance to head to a Super Bowl slip away. The Panthers can get up quickly, by a lot. But…as evidenced by the Seahawks game a week earlier, they can also give up a lot of points quickly.
Next, my solution for the Pro Bowl.
I want the Pro Bowl to continue. I think it’s important that the cream of the crop gets recognized, even if there are dicks who continue to refuse to go (see below re: Patriots). However, I get that the players have a hard time getting up for the game, especially with injury fears and no-Super Bowl depression working against them. But I have a solution for all that. For those of you old enough to remember the Battle of the Network Stars, that’s what I’m talking about. I’m thinking Scott Baio and Cheryl Ladd replace Irvin and Rice as team captains, and just picture JJ Watt going head to head with Luke Kuechly in a tug of war, or RGIII slamming Kirk Cousins into the dunk tank while screaming “You like that?!”.
On to Super Bowl 50 news –
Cam Newton and pants.
By now you’ve probably seen these pants.
Sure, Cam can wear whatever he wants. And I get that people are overly critical of him. But, when I saw him waiting to get off the team plane last to suck up all of the media attention, I was truly RME (and that’s rolling my eyes for those of you without a tween in the house). The need to be center stage here is a little ridiculous; winning the Super Bowl will garner even more. Just wish Mr. Cam would realize it’s a team sport.
Patriots and poor sportsmanship.
The Patriots were fortunate enough to have seven players elected to the Pro Bowl by their FANS. Yet all seven cited “injuries” and opted out. Tom Brady has not appeared in a Pro Bowl since 2004. This just annoys me to no end. Peyton Manning has experienced some very painful playoff defeats in his day, but always attends the Pro Bowl and gives the fans what they want. If fans needed another reason to hate New England (did we really, though?) they got it.
Russell Wilson and love.
He may not be playing in the big game, but Russell Wilson is winning in the game of love. Besides being the only person who took the Pro Bowl seriously, and won an MVP in the process, he enjoyed a Hawaiian vacation with girlfriend Ciara. He posted glowing words about her on Twitter, while also managing to be accused of love plagiarism. So far, though, Wilson is winning the off season.
— Russell Wilson (@DangeRussWilson) January 28, 2016
Super Bowl and smart stuff.
Here are the top storylines for Sunday…
- It’s a classic battle – the two top ranked teams from each division, and the #1 offense (Carolina Panthers) vs. the #1 defense (Denver Broncos).
- It’s two distinct quarterbacks – flashy young gun Cam Newton and elder statesman in likely his last game, the great Peyton Manning.
- Cam Newton will most likely be named MVP of the NFL this year. Peyton has been MVP five times but is at the tail end of his career.
Sayings to impress your friends –
- “Cam Newton can beat you with his legs and his arm. Wade Phillips is a genius, but how will his D choose to cover Cam?”(Cam is a very elusive running QB who is also a strong passer. It’s very difficult for a defense to cover both of these things. Wade Phillips, defensive coordinator for the Broncos, and son of a guy named “Bum” will try to address this).
- “Greg Olsen could be the first tight end to be Super Bowl MVP.” (Get your mind out of the gutter! Tight end is an offensive player and Olsen, the tight end of the Panthers, is one of the best who is very hard to cover).
Super Bowl and bets.
Here are some of the funny “prop” or proposition bets you can make –
- Length of Lady Gaga’s National Anthem
- What color shoes will Beyonce be wearing at halftime (black is favorite)
- Will Peyton Manning cry
- Will Peyton Manning announce his retirement
- What color Gatorade will be poured on winning coach (orange is favorite)
- Will there be an earthquake during the game
Super Bowl and celebs.
If all else fails, you can check out the celebrity fans at the game in their suites or on the sidelines. The Panthers have a high star power buddy in Steph Curry, who is a Charlotte, as well as Brooklyn Decker and Michael Jordon. For the Broncos, a wide range of celebs from Don Cheadle, Jessica Biel, Kate Hudson, Roseanne Barr and Patrick Warburton (PUDDY!) to NASCAR Kyle Busch, make them the celebrity choice for the weekend. Keep an eye out for John Schnatter, aka Papa John, bidding adieu to his favorite pitchman.
And we bid adieu to a great season, with hopes for a happy ending or at least a great game!