Hail MaryBill Belichick evil Archives

10th September by Hail Mary Leave a comment

Your NFL 2015 Season “Belichick-Endorsed” Cheat Sheet

Well, well, well. Blow my finger off with a firework. It’s finally here.

The NFL regular season starts Thursday and for all of us who have been waiting patiently (read: desperately watching both The Bachelorette AND Bachelor Pad on Monday nights) it could not have come soon enough.

No more endless droning on about Deflategate. And for those of you who still have any doubt that cheating is indeed a recurring issue with this bunch, Check out this week’s ESPN expose for yet another take on the organization that will always have an asterisk. Unless you’re from Boston, of course!

Yes, New York Post sketch artist. He is.

And no more talking heads speculating 24/7 about Tim Tebow’s future in the league. I could have hit fast forward for you six months ago – spoiler alert – he doesn’t make it.

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15th February by Hail Mary Leave a comment

NFL Season Ending Rant -What the Hail??

What the Hail just happened? It has taken me nearly two weeks to get over the heartbreak of the Super Bowl. And I am not even a Seahawks fan.

Football is dead to me, largely because the Patriots won the Super Bowl. Yes, I take this football thing way too seriously.

But it’s more than that. It’s a whole “karma” thing to me when the good guys don’t win. I felt it last year when I watched Jameis Winston win first the Heisman and then the National Championship with Florida State, immediately after being mysteriously cleared on rape charges, right after “new” witnesses who happened to be his teammates came forward.

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1st February by Hail Mary 1 Comment

The Super Bowl – Your Definitive Guide to Sorta Liking It

Could I BE more excited for Super Bowl week? For those of you who don’t know of the glorious show that was Friends, that was said in the sarcastic droll of one Chandler Bing, who no doubt would feel my pain this week. Maybe it’s just me, but it seems there are an abnormal number of people who could not give two hoots about this year’s Big Game.

Why is this? See last week’s blog for more. Mostly I think it’s that there’s no “underdog” this year, no compelling rags-to-riches story about a young player overcoming odds, no team that hasn’t won the Bowl recently. In fact, with all the talk about cheating, there’s a much stronger WWE vibe than an actual football vibe goin down.

Still, I know you can have fun watching the game, so because I’m a giver, I give you the Definitive Guide to Sorta Liking The Super Bowl –

Teaching the team at NBC that it’s all about defensive matchups!

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24th January by Hail Mary Leave a comment

NFL Super Bowl Preview – Totally Deflated

I have finally emerged from my post-playoff funk and the pain and heartbreak of watching my team go down in flames. I’m not sure what’s worse, seeing my Colts blown out by my sworn mortal enemy team, or being a Green Bay fan and watching, horrified, as your team grabs defeat from the clutches of victory. It’s been a painful January, and now we head into a Super Bowl with two of the most polarizing teams in the NFL. So why even bother to watch? I’ve been asking myself this all week, as have many others, and the answers are all here for you, laid out neatly and tied with a bow made of football laces.

First – make this for the Super Bowl and you will be the envy of everyone, ever.

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10th January by Hail Mary Leave a comment

NFL Playoffs Week 2 – Grab your partner and root hard or blame the refs!

Much like the recent Sony hack, evil forces are at work in the NFL in the form of Jerry’s empire. Anyone who thought that sports wasn’t fixed should look no further than the crazy calls in Sundays Lions at Cowboys game. For those of you who didn’t see the “flag pickup call”, it’s basically the first time that anyone can remember a ref making and announcing a call that results in a first down, the offense lining up to snap the ball, and the ref then picking up said flag and overturning the call.

Flash to Fat Cats (bad pun intended) Jerry Jones and Gov. Chris Christie rejoicing in the luxury box, and conspiracy theories abound. Some of the best memes below –

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25th December by Hail Mary Leave a comment

NFL Week 17 – Hail Mary Holiday Spectacular with gifts and goodies for each and every team!

It’s the last week of regular season football and I’m pleased as punch to have pulled off a Christmas miracle – a Fantasy Football Championship! This, mind you with Colin Kaepernick at my QB and a lot of injuries on my roster. The Hail Mary Girls’ league was a success, and I plan to keep spreading the Fantasy gospel to gals all around the world…or at least the greater Southern California area.

While others are thinking of cookie baking and spreading holiday cheer, I am in football overdrive, considering the end of the season and how each and every NFL team could benefit from a little Xmas joy.

Here is the definitive of what each team would like to find in their stocking this Christmas –

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26th November by Hail Mary Leave a comment

NFL Week 13 – What the cluck? A tryptophan-induced Raider Nation Coma, that’s what!

It’s a short week for most, and while nearly everyone dreams of turkey, tryptophan and tequila (just own up to that dysfunctional family!), it’s also the time that we give thanks to the best and brightest of the NFL. Or, in some cases, the biggest turkeys!

This year, I’m thankful for –

A Raiders Win –

It’s just gotten to the point where no one can root for this hapless team to go 0-16. Derek Carr is actually showing signs of being able to move this franchise ahead. Although it might not happen until Sebastian Janikowski (aka “Sea Bass” aka “worst nickname ever”) is about 80. Don’t worry, thought, I think he’s like 75 right now.

Even for a Raider, he’s somewhat scary.

Insane Catches –

Odell Beckham Jr. made one of the most insane catches you’ll ever see in Sunday night’s loss against the Cowboys, celebrated with one of the best memes of the year.

This rookie is making a name for himself and his frosted hair tips make me want to be his best friend. Plus, his dad was Shaquille O’Neal’s roommate in college. He could be the most interesting man in the NFL right now.

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18th October by Hail Mary Leave a comment

NFL Week 7 – Sick Kicks Edition

Say you’re an NFL player. Just because you’re spending day and night reviewing film, figuring out new ways to smash you opponent’s head in and trash talking on Twitter, it doesn’t mean you don’t like footwear as much as the next civilian. In this week’s Blog, we look at the men sporting sick kicks sure to impress the ladies.

Denver’s Vonn Miller has recently been seen sporting shoes that are sparkly, in a super cray, little girl dressing as a princess way. Although the Twittersphere was aghast at his fashion sense, I give him points for trying and extra points because they’re Louboutins.

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10th October by Hail Mary Leave a comment

NFL Week 6 – Prepare to be terrified

It’s Halloween season, and there’s plenty to be scared about with football season right now.

If you’re not freaked out enough by that trailer for the movie Annabelle that seems to show ten times during each NFL game, consider this – we’ve had more quarterback changes, more blowout games and more changes in the power rankings this year than ever before.

Oh The Shame!!

And apparently Colts fans love Nickelback. This may be the scariest fact of the week. Facebook released their chart of the favorite music of your favorite teams, based on posts and likes. OK, so let’s stop the hating on the Midwest. I don’t believe Facebook on this for one minute. Suck it, Zuckerberg! And the NFC will follow next week, so don’t feel so high and mighty yet, Chicago Bears fans.

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3rd October by Hail Mary Leave a comment

NFL Week 5 – Cause for (non-religious) Celebration

I don’t know what’s scarier – the impending Ebola outbreak, or the fact that my beloved season is already 25% over. Let’s not focus on the negative, though, when we’ve got this to consider –

Crazy blowouts

What up with the Saints?

What up with the Chiefs?

And WHAT up with the Cowboys?

All of last week’s prime time games were severely lopsided, leading to announcers having to earn their pay and spew out stats faster than Michael Phelps on a country road at 2 a.m. Oh, too soon?

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